Metalocalypse: Love is Brutal PROLOGUE

Rated: PG
The high-elected men propose a new scheme to take down Dethklok


The headlines read, “Dethklok brings more death”. The high-elected men watched videoclips of mass destruction around the world caused by the band of the headlining name. Buildings smoked, men and women lie dead, fires blazed on. Fans of the heavy metal band smashed windows out of shops and looted the goods inside, they flipped police vehicles over in a mob-like fashion, and those in a panic trying to flee were beaten to death. News channels around the world read the number of casualties and the millions of dollars of damage that came between the path of Dethklok. These scenes of anarchy and mayhem were nothing new to the men who grumbled in their seats, pointing at the multitude of individual monitors depicting images of chaos and asking themselves what could be done. How could the rise of Dethklok and the violence surrounding them be stopped?


The high-elected men came from various backgrounds. Military generals who represented the Americas and European countries were among those who were called upon to face the Dethklok epidemic along with the Archbishop, the CIA, the FBI, as well as leading doctors and psychologists who studied the band and an array of scientists from all over the world. For years they have kept a close watch on the Dethklok band when they first began touring, but as the fandom grew they soon realized the threat of a global takeover. Many schemes were devised to overthrow the power of Dethklok but to no avail. Their options were limited and hope could soon be lost if Dethklok could not be stopped.


“Damn them all to hell!” General Crozier shouted, “This is an outrage! How can one band defeat the likeness of generals like me who have gunned down even the mightiest of terrorists? Something must be done, or we will all be doomed to heavy metal music and anarchy.” The men grumbled again, pointing and arguing with one another.  The Archbishop slammed his fists to the table and rebuked,


“We have tried countless times to no avail. Rumors are flying and the fandom is growing ever more powerfully. We must sever the tie between them or we are all doomed!”


“Now, now, gentlemen, I believe I have found a solution.” The men silenced. An older gentleman in a ratted brown suit stood and was looked upon with disgust as he twirled a long strand of snow white hair with slender fingers. A scientist growled,


“You, Dr. Malice? Surely not! All your schemes are flawed and they have gotten us nowhere! I certainly will not tolerate anything which comes from you.” Dr. Malice chuckled as he gripped his gnarly wooden cane tighter and gently thrusted it in an outward motion as he spoke to the grumbling men.


“Ah, tsk, tsk, but neither have yours. I have with me the most prestigious psychologist in the world and he shall explain to you my newest scheme. Dr. Ranfield?” A gentleman wearing an awful mess of a scroungy faded black suit stood up beside Dr. Malice, and the rest of the men began to point and argue louder than before. Dr. Malice tapped his gnarly wooden cane three times on the table and slowly the men silenced so the shaggy man could speak.


“Violence only ends in violence,” spoke Dr. Ranfield calmly,  “and studies have shown that the members of Dethklok is in itself violence, which creates a ripple effect of more violence. If Dethklok is to be stopped, it is only logical that we attack them with the antidote of violence…love.”


“Love?” scoffed General Crozier, “Are you implying that if we show Dethklok love, the violence could end? Impossible!”


“Ah yes,” said Dr. Ranfield, “I believe Dr. Malice can explain his proposal.” With all the men at his attention, Dr. Malice fished for something in his pocket. A dart, black in the body and red at the tip, was a mere inch of length with frills feathering from its body. The men leaned from their seats to inspect what the man was showing them.


“This is unlike anything we have ever seen, my friends. This tiny dart contains a concentrated amount of endorphins so powerful it shall make the target fall madly in love with the first person they see. Shoot the members of Dethklok with this dart and they will be so madly in love that they will be consumed by the feeling, consumed enough so they disregard their needs to make music and therefore, stopping Dethklok in its tracks and saving all humanity. It is fool-proof.” The men looked from one another to the wicked man in the highest chair who smiled a devious grin.


“I shall allow it and see what unfolds.”


“Here, here!” said the men, and Dr. Malice set forth to put his plan into action.

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